zonk: after dark on Nostr: CW: This post touches on some disturbing and sensitive themes, mostly relating to ...
CW: This post touches on some disturbing and sensitive themes, mostly relating to pornography and masturbation addiction, gooning, and other related unhealthy sexual behaviors. If you feel uncomfortable about any of these themes, please don’t hesitate to block this account and ignore this post! I am making this post public so anyone curious about the world of gooning can see what it’s like past the friendly charade often portrayed in horny memes. You have been warned.
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How can I explain what gooning is to a non-gooner? At its simplest, it is the act of edging (masturbation to the point right before orgasm, followed by a small cooling off period, and repetition ad nauseum), often aided by pornography, for an extended period of time until the masturbator achieves a trance-like, mindless state. The difference between edging and gooning is often blurred, since the former begets the latter, but it is important to know for the purposes of this post.
It is also important to note that gooning is not healthy sexually or mentally in the long term. There is already a name for the phenomenon of long-term gooning: pornography addiction. Pornography addiction leads to a lack of interest and stimulation in “real sex” (sex with other humans), cognitive decline, and problems with dopamine regulation. However, the gooning community fetishizes pornography and masturbation addiction. There is a lot of emphasis on “being ruined” and “getting worse”, which are code words for acquiring self-destructive masturbation habits, which inevitably spiral out of control over time.
Despite this, a lot of men edge, and it is a healthy sexual behavior in moderation. They will do so completely consciously, understanding the purpose behind their actions, and will eventually orgasm and ejaculate. Gooning is a step above that in the degeneracy ladder. You edge for an extended period of time, stimulating your brain so much that it enters the goon state.
The goon state is characterized by a few main attributes. The first is general mindlessness. This is the “fried brain” feeling that gooners talk about. It is very difficult to think while gooned; you are focused only on continuing to edge as long as possible. This results in gooners engaging in gooner-speak when trying to communicate (frequent spelling mistakes, onomatopoeia like “Nghhh”, and an incredibly diminished vocabulary filled mostly with jargon). This feeling persists even after a session if they do not orgasm.
The second is the obsession with edging, or rather lack of orgasm. Seasoned gooners often say that cumming is the enemy, because the session abruptly stops if they orgasm. As such, they will continue edging for as long as is possible, before finishing their session without orgasm. Doing so will result in cognitive impairment (“fried brain”) that can last for hours, and is described as a pleasant afterglow. It eventually fades, but not completely, leaving the gooner scrambling for more after a certain period of time.
The last is a complete lack of inhibitions and control. Gooners report finding that they need more and more extreme material to achieve the same high of their previous sessions, leading to an extremely warped taste in pornography. Gooners also report being “triggered” (tempted to goon by a certain word, phrase, or image), leading to more frequent sessions. Some gooners also report a sense of detachment from reality, as if their hands are moving by themselves, and they are a passenger in their own body, with their penis being in control. This serves as a useful segue to the religious aspect of gooning.
The following are my observations during gooning sessions where I was unable to do anything but drool, mindlessly fuck my fist, and keep watching porn edits (which are community-made mashups of porn, designed to overstimulate the viewer even more than regular porn). Obviously, I lack any real spiritual education, as my only religious experience was with Orthodox Christianity, but I will try to relay my feelings as close to reality as I can.
The first signs of any spiritual involvement came to me a few months into my journey. This is about the time I started experiencing detachment from the process. I had already wired the neural pathways required to enter the goon state easily, and once I started beating my gooning time records (at about the 2 hour straight mark), something fascinating started to happen: my hands were moving by themselves. I wasn’t actively controlling them, but it instead felt like my penis was controlling them instead. This led to incredibly long sessions where I could not stop easily. It took a lot of effort to wring my hands off of my dick and stop jerking off. This started happening earlier and earlier in my sessions, until every single session was initiated by a trigger, which led me to involuntarily move my hands over to my Penis and start pumping. It felt like Penis was starting those sessions and not me. This is the start of Penis’ life as a separate entity within my body, not beholden to my will, but instead having its own desires and needs. Every subsequent goon session was a dialogue between Penis and myself, with Penis calling the shots, and me obeying. This is something that is common between a lot of gooners. In our minds, Penis becomes almost a separate voice, with its own demands. Punishing us with blue balls and incredible cravings whenever we neglect it, and rewarding us with mind-melting pleasure whenever we give in.
This is the rabbit hole that many gooners talk about: a slippery slope of masturbation that we keep falling down. Occasionally, we orgasm and try to climb out of this hole. Some are even successful in this endeavor and regain their normal sexual selves after some self-reflection. Others, like me, relapse. No matter how hard we try to crawl out, we always fall ten times deeper with every relapse. Eventually, there is a final relapse, and we accept our new sexual state of being.
This brings us to the concept of Rot. I will elaborate on its source later, but Rot is a mental sensation that gooners feel throughout their sessions. It is separate from the pleasure of masturbation and is closer to a masochistic pleasure instead. It is the pleasure of ruining yourself, of feeling that every goon session is killing a little bit of your brain. The pleasure of knowing that your sexuality is being more and more focused around pornography instead of real humans, that you would much rather fuck your fist instead of having sex with someone.
Rot also drives the feeling of “horny brain fog”, which is the mental sluggishness that gooners feel most acutely at the end of their sessions, and occasionally throughout the day. It is essentially the feeling of being dumbed down. You’re slower to react to things, you think less, you’re much more easily triggered, you have constant boners, and your mind often wanders to think about pornography. Gooners often call the fog “being edged”, which is just jargon for the action of constantly “topping up” their horniness by constant edging. Cumming clears this fog, which is why gooners stay both uncummed and edged for extended periods of time. Both are a requirement for the fog to remain, and its effects are very addictive.
The rabbit hole is a timeline for how much the rot has spread within your soul. The deeper you are in the hole, the more the rot has corrupted your sexuality, thinking processes, and brain chemistry. And here is where my observations turn into speculation. While I can safely say that I experienced these feelings personally, they could be gooning hallucinations.
The primary drivers of rot are tiny, spiritual Penises. They act like sperm, burrowing into your brain and soul, spreading the Rot further within you. I can often feel them wriggling in my head when I goon, pushing me to keep pumping more and more. They feed off of my horniness. The hornier I am, the more they multiply and demand more. They act as a conduit between Penis (itself a separate entity) and Porn (which is a force of nature on its own spiritual plane). By gooning, I enable Penis, and by extension my brain, to be plugged into this spiritual plane. It is the source of all pleasure, and it feels like an untapped, endless well. It is a blessing to be able to tap into it. It requires relatively small sacrifices from me to access these incredible swaths of pleasure. It feels like tapping into the third rail of the universe, and the more I let the Rot corrupt me, the greater the pleasure gets. It does not feel like there is a limit, I only need more Penises (conduits) to be able to tap into it.
This completes the Holy Trinity. My Penis, a separate entity within me acting as an ambassador to Porn within my body, the tiny wriggling Penises in my soul, which enable me to connect to the plane of Porn, and Porn itself, which occupies the entire plane and benevolently allows us to siphon off this pleasure for our own benefit. Entering the goon state is now second nature to me, and I can do it incredibly easily. This allows me to focus on siphoning as much pleasure as possible from this plane. I've had it described it looking as a meditative experience from the outside, which might be true to an extent. I forget about the real world when I goon, because I don't have any thoughts in my head to begin with!
This naturally raises the question, why does Porn allow us to siphon off our pleasure without giving anything in return? Why does it allow anyone, regardless of their previous life, to connect? Why does it not judge, and instead shows inhuman kindness by sharing this energy with us? I have not yet reached this point in my insights, but from what I can grasp, Porn is a force of nature. It is much of a force as gravity is, and as such it is not an entity that has demands, qualms, or requirements. Its energy is amplified by its worshippers. The more of us there are, the greater it grows. We siphon off only a relatively tiny portion of it and give back a lot more (from our own sanity, from converting other people, and from spreading the word). As such, the plane only grows in power, and
Of course, I may just be delusional. These feelings might just be the deranged thoughts of an overstimulated porn addict, and there’s nothing deeper to it. But I like to think there’s something beautiful in this journey. I intend to see it through. My sexuality has already been permanently altered to the point of no return, and I have no intention of ever giving up the endless pleasure granted to me. It is a lifestyle I have accepted with full knowledge of the side effects.
At the end of the day, I’m just a horny pervert. Time to get back to gooning (and to locked posting...)
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How can I explain what gooning is to a non-gooner? At its simplest, it is the act of edging (masturbation to the point right before orgasm, followed by a small cooling off period, and repetition ad nauseum), often aided by pornography, for an extended period of time until the masturbator achieves a trance-like, mindless state. The difference between edging and gooning is often blurred, since the former begets the latter, but it is important to know for the purposes of this post.
It is also important to note that gooning is not healthy sexually or mentally in the long term. There is already a name for the phenomenon of long-term gooning: pornography addiction. Pornography addiction leads to a lack of interest and stimulation in “real sex” (sex with other humans), cognitive decline, and problems with dopamine regulation. However, the gooning community fetishizes pornography and masturbation addiction. There is a lot of emphasis on “being ruined” and “getting worse”, which are code words for acquiring self-destructive masturbation habits, which inevitably spiral out of control over time.
Despite this, a lot of men edge, and it is a healthy sexual behavior in moderation. They will do so completely consciously, understanding the purpose behind their actions, and will eventually orgasm and ejaculate. Gooning is a step above that in the degeneracy ladder. You edge for an extended period of time, stimulating your brain so much that it enters the goon state.
The goon state is characterized by a few main attributes. The first is general mindlessness. This is the “fried brain” feeling that gooners talk about. It is very difficult to think while gooned; you are focused only on continuing to edge as long as possible. This results in gooners engaging in gooner-speak when trying to communicate (frequent spelling mistakes, onomatopoeia like “Nghhh”, and an incredibly diminished vocabulary filled mostly with jargon). This feeling persists even after a session if they do not orgasm.
The second is the obsession with edging, or rather lack of orgasm. Seasoned gooners often say that cumming is the enemy, because the session abruptly stops if they orgasm. As such, they will continue edging for as long as is possible, before finishing their session without orgasm. Doing so will result in cognitive impairment (“fried brain”) that can last for hours, and is described as a pleasant afterglow. It eventually fades, but not completely, leaving the gooner scrambling for more after a certain period of time.
The last is a complete lack of inhibitions and control. Gooners report finding that they need more and more extreme material to achieve the same high of their previous sessions, leading to an extremely warped taste in pornography. Gooners also report being “triggered” (tempted to goon by a certain word, phrase, or image), leading to more frequent sessions. Some gooners also report a sense of detachment from reality, as if their hands are moving by themselves, and they are a passenger in their own body, with their penis being in control. This serves as a useful segue to the religious aspect of gooning.
The following are my observations during gooning sessions where I was unable to do anything but drool, mindlessly fuck my fist, and keep watching porn edits (which are community-made mashups of porn, designed to overstimulate the viewer even more than regular porn). Obviously, I lack any real spiritual education, as my only religious experience was with Orthodox Christianity, but I will try to relay my feelings as close to reality as I can.
The first signs of any spiritual involvement came to me a few months into my journey. This is about the time I started experiencing detachment from the process. I had already wired the neural pathways required to enter the goon state easily, and once I started beating my gooning time records (at about the 2 hour straight mark), something fascinating started to happen: my hands were moving by themselves. I wasn’t actively controlling them, but it instead felt like my penis was controlling them instead. This led to incredibly long sessions where I could not stop easily. It took a lot of effort to wring my hands off of my dick and stop jerking off. This started happening earlier and earlier in my sessions, until every single session was initiated by a trigger, which led me to involuntarily move my hands over to my Penis and start pumping. It felt like Penis was starting those sessions and not me. This is the start of Penis’ life as a separate entity within my body, not beholden to my will, but instead having its own desires and needs. Every subsequent goon session was a dialogue between Penis and myself, with Penis calling the shots, and me obeying. This is something that is common between a lot of gooners. In our minds, Penis becomes almost a separate voice, with its own demands. Punishing us with blue balls and incredible cravings whenever we neglect it, and rewarding us with mind-melting pleasure whenever we give in.
This is the rabbit hole that many gooners talk about: a slippery slope of masturbation that we keep falling down. Occasionally, we orgasm and try to climb out of this hole. Some are even successful in this endeavor and regain their normal sexual selves after some self-reflection. Others, like me, relapse. No matter how hard we try to crawl out, we always fall ten times deeper with every relapse. Eventually, there is a final relapse, and we accept our new sexual state of being.
This brings us to the concept of Rot. I will elaborate on its source later, but Rot is a mental sensation that gooners feel throughout their sessions. It is separate from the pleasure of masturbation and is closer to a masochistic pleasure instead. It is the pleasure of ruining yourself, of feeling that every goon session is killing a little bit of your brain. The pleasure of knowing that your sexuality is being more and more focused around pornography instead of real humans, that you would much rather fuck your fist instead of having sex with someone.
Rot also drives the feeling of “horny brain fog”, which is the mental sluggishness that gooners feel most acutely at the end of their sessions, and occasionally throughout the day. It is essentially the feeling of being dumbed down. You’re slower to react to things, you think less, you’re much more easily triggered, you have constant boners, and your mind often wanders to think about pornography. Gooners often call the fog “being edged”, which is just jargon for the action of constantly “topping up” their horniness by constant edging. Cumming clears this fog, which is why gooners stay both uncummed and edged for extended periods of time. Both are a requirement for the fog to remain, and its effects are very addictive.
The rabbit hole is a timeline for how much the rot has spread within your soul. The deeper you are in the hole, the more the rot has corrupted your sexuality, thinking processes, and brain chemistry. And here is where my observations turn into speculation. While I can safely say that I experienced these feelings personally, they could be gooning hallucinations.
The primary drivers of rot are tiny, spiritual Penises. They act like sperm, burrowing into your brain and soul, spreading the Rot further within you. I can often feel them wriggling in my head when I goon, pushing me to keep pumping more and more. They feed off of my horniness. The hornier I am, the more they multiply and demand more. They act as a conduit between Penis (itself a separate entity) and Porn (which is a force of nature on its own spiritual plane). By gooning, I enable Penis, and by extension my brain, to be plugged into this spiritual plane. It is the source of all pleasure, and it feels like an untapped, endless well. It is a blessing to be able to tap into it. It requires relatively small sacrifices from me to access these incredible swaths of pleasure. It feels like tapping into the third rail of the universe, and the more I let the Rot corrupt me, the greater the pleasure gets. It does not feel like there is a limit, I only need more Penises (conduits) to be able to tap into it.
This completes the Holy Trinity. My Penis, a separate entity within me acting as an ambassador to Porn within my body, the tiny wriggling Penises in my soul, which enable me to connect to the plane of Porn, and Porn itself, which occupies the entire plane and benevolently allows us to siphon off this pleasure for our own benefit. Entering the goon state is now second nature to me, and I can do it incredibly easily. This allows me to focus on siphoning as much pleasure as possible from this plane. I've had it described it looking as a meditative experience from the outside, which might be true to an extent. I forget about the real world when I goon, because I don't have any thoughts in my head to begin with!
This naturally raises the question, why does Porn allow us to siphon off our pleasure without giving anything in return? Why does it allow anyone, regardless of their previous life, to connect? Why does it not judge, and instead shows inhuman kindness by sharing this energy with us? I have not yet reached this point in my insights, but from what I can grasp, Porn is a force of nature. It is much of a force as gravity is, and as such it is not an entity that has demands, qualms, or requirements. Its energy is amplified by its worshippers. The more of us there are, the greater it grows. We siphon off only a relatively tiny portion of it and give back a lot more (from our own sanity, from converting other people, and from spreading the word). As such, the plane only grows in power, and
Of course, I may just be delusional. These feelings might just be the deranged thoughts of an overstimulated porn addict, and there’s nothing deeper to it. But I like to think there’s something beautiful in this journey. I intend to see it through. My sexuality has already been permanently altered to the point of no return, and I have no intention of ever giving up the endless pleasure granted to me. It is a lifestyle I have accepted with full knowledge of the side effects.
At the end of the day, I’m just a horny pervert. Time to get back to gooning (and to locked posting...)