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**Nurturing respectful relationships in children**
**Q:** **My teenage daughter and her boyfriend frequently exchange harsh remarks and insults. Although she dismisses it with laughter, I am concerned that this behaviour may not be healthy. Am I being too sensitive?**
**Focus on the Family Malaysia:** Trust your instincts on this matter. It is widely acknowledged that many teenagers can benefit from some guidance on how to treat members of the opposite sex, and there is
no one more suited for this role than a
caring parent.
Recent discussions have focused on the concept of “sexual respect”, emphasising respectful behaviour between men and women. However, the foundation of this concept lies in recognising the inherent value of every person.
The most effective approach involves nurturing decency and consideration for others’ feelings in all types of relationships, with “sexual respect” naturally emerging as a consequence.
We recommend starting by encouraging your daughter to cultivate a stronger sense of self-respect. As a person of worth, she is doing herself an injustice by allowing her boyfriend – or anyone else – to insult her.
When she tolerates nasty remarks by laughing them off, she is inadvertently sending a message that she considers this behaviour acceptable.
While she may believe or say it is “no big deal”, what if the jokes were to take a darker turn? What if verbal disrespect were to escalate into physical or sexual abuse?
Additionally, inquire if your daughter has observed other teenagers tolerating minor verbal abuse only to endure more serious jibes and emotional hurt later. It is likely she will understand precisely what you are addressing.
**Q: I have only been married a couple of years, but I can sense that the initial “spark” of our romance is fading. Is something wrong with us? Are we “falling out of love”?**
**Focus on the Family Malaysia:** Most couples find it hard to maintain the emotional excitement of romance once the day-to-day reality of married life sets in. However, here is the good news: you can still have a healthy and vibrant marriage even when routine takes over.
Simply grasp the essential “anchor points” of daily life and transform them into meaningful relational moments. Here are some suggestions:
**Morning Routine:** Instead of simply uttering “Good morning”, try facing your spouse and softly saying: “I love you, and I am grateful to wake up together.”
**Leaving the house:** When it is time to leave, bid farewell to your spouse with a genuine and heartfelt kiss.
**During absence:** Keep in contact when you are apart. A quick call or even a text message can significantly contribute to preserving and reinforcing your connection.
**Coming home:** When you return in the evening, share kisses and hugs, talk about your respective days and genuinely listen to your spouse. You will be surprised with the difference it can make.
**Mealtimes:** Sit at the table and make eye contact – no phones, television or other screens. Meal times provide an ideal opportunity for reconnecting and celebrating your shared identity as a couple.
**Bedtime:** The end of the day, like the beginning, is a universal “anchor point”. It is a time when you can “clean the slate” and express gratitude and appreciation with a goodnight kiss.
This is not rocket science, and it is not about “doing more” or “doing things right”. It is simply a matter of thriving in the present circumstances.
The article was contributed by
Focus on the Family Malaysia,
a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community.
For more information, visit family.org.my.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
https://thesun.my/home_news/nurturing-respectful-relationships-in-children-FP11873116
**Q:** **My teenage daughter and her boyfriend frequently exchange harsh remarks and insults. Although she dismisses it with laughter, I am concerned that this behaviour may not be healthy. Am I being too sensitive?**
**Focus on the Family Malaysia:** Trust your instincts on this matter. It is widely acknowledged that many teenagers can benefit from some guidance on how to treat members of the opposite sex, and there is
no one more suited for this role than a
caring parent.
Recent discussions have focused on the concept of “sexual respect”, emphasising respectful behaviour between men and women. However, the foundation of this concept lies in recognising the inherent value of every person.
The most effective approach involves nurturing decency and consideration for others’ feelings in all types of relationships, with “sexual respect” naturally emerging as a consequence.
We recommend starting by encouraging your daughter to cultivate a stronger sense of self-respect. As a person of worth, she is doing herself an injustice by allowing her boyfriend – or anyone else – to insult her.
When she tolerates nasty remarks by laughing them off, she is inadvertently sending a message that she considers this behaviour acceptable.
While she may believe or say it is “no big deal”, what if the jokes were to take a darker turn? What if verbal disrespect were to escalate into physical or sexual abuse?
Additionally, inquire if your daughter has observed other teenagers tolerating minor verbal abuse only to endure more serious jibes and emotional hurt later. It is likely she will understand precisely what you are addressing.
**Q: I have only been married a couple of years, but I can sense that the initial “spark” of our romance is fading. Is something wrong with us? Are we “falling out of love”?**
**Focus on the Family Malaysia:** Most couples find it hard to maintain the emotional excitement of romance once the day-to-day reality of married life sets in. However, here is the good news: you can still have a healthy and vibrant marriage even when routine takes over.
Simply grasp the essential “anchor points” of daily life and transform them into meaningful relational moments. Here are some suggestions:
**Morning Routine:** Instead of simply uttering “Good morning”, try facing your spouse and softly saying: “I love you, and I am grateful to wake up together.”
**Leaving the house:** When it is time to leave, bid farewell to your spouse with a genuine and heartfelt kiss.
**During absence:** Keep in contact when you are apart. A quick call or even a text message can significantly contribute to preserving and reinforcing your connection.
**Coming home:** When you return in the evening, share kisses and hugs, talk about your respective days and genuinely listen to your spouse. You will be surprised with the difference it can make.
**Mealtimes:** Sit at the table and make eye contact – no phones, television or other screens. Meal times provide an ideal opportunity for reconnecting and celebrating your shared identity as a couple.
**Bedtime:** The end of the day, like the beginning, is a universal “anchor point”. It is a time when you can “clean the slate” and express gratitude and appreciation with a goodnight kiss.
This is not rocket science, and it is not about “doing more” or “doing things right”. It is simply a matter of thriving in the present circumstances.
The article was contributed by
Focus on the Family Malaysia,
a non-profit organisation dedicated to supporting and strengthening the family unit. It provides a myriad of programmes and resources, including professional counselling services, to the community.
For more information, visit family.org.my.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com
https://thesun.my/home_news/nurturing-respectful-relationships-in-children-FP11873116