npub1zh…ggdq0 on Nostr: (I don't care if nobody reads this but) there's always a snake in the grass telling ...
(I don't care if nobody reads this but)
there's always a snake in the grass telling really, uh, evil lies in order to influence the way others perceive you. no bigger snakes than when there's a lot to feed on.
I've seen that lie unfold in front of my eyes and I know that so many people in lots of different industries all participate in these kinds of lies to cover their own shame. it's sad.
the last move left is to set up the perfect trap again. the last one didn't pan out the way they expected – I'm doing something good with the pain. I buried it all for a while so that I could see with my own eyes what was happening in the world. why are so many of these "conspiracy" theories turning out to be true?
I did my best to not make it about me.
and my God the stories that have come out now. we all know what direction this is going and we have the duty and obligation to ensure that we solve problems responsibly and non-violently. but this is crazy. all of it.
if your opp's last move is to paint you as a terrorist in the making when there are literally hundreds of stories related to The Racket AND The Bracket, how sad. and what a cruel thing to let someone know, as a matter of fact, that their only road leads to a grave where miscarriages of justice occur.
nobody knows more about what they want for me than me but I will not accept that fate – that is not what God created me for.
maybe I did not say it with these exact words but I did basically say fuck diddy and whatever racket he's got going on. fuck the whole industry for all of the pimping it does. I will make them hate me while still aiming straight for the truth of the matter.
this is like dealing with attention addicts who don't realize their addiction to humiliation is just a side kink. I'd turn the other cheek but it hurts a little to twist my neck since it was twisted for me years ago on a sidewalk by a man much bigger than me.
but that's besides the original point: a week or so before it all came crashing down, I mentioned on social media that I intended to sue a whole police department because they didn't follow a certain procedure that is necessary after an assault. the DA at the time saw footage of the "encounter" and they did not pursue charges, and they never really considered what my report centered on: a very specific moment that happened and resulted in an injury due to the unexpected nature of it.
I didn't want him to do that nor did I give any sign that I wanted to. then for the rest of the night he would reach behind my back and sneak little grabs here and there that I also didn't want. as much as I tried to get him to just stop touching me in general, I was too drunk at that point to even walk and had a massive bruise from stumbling into an iron chair. my friends asked me if I was ok and I just played it all off cause it had literally happened minutes earlier and I was stunned.
when I woke up the next morning I felt like I'd been sliced inside. that's why I wanted to get a rape kit; plus, I had bruises in random places. I was not ok and my "friends" knew this, but they'd summed it as my fault.
thing is, I wasn't even talking about the last part, I was talking about what he did when nobody else was around and how quickly and suddenly. I was talking about feeling his nails pierce through the most sensitive part of my body.
the police initially told me that someone would come pick me up but days passed by and nobody ever came. I got a phone call eventually where I was told that it's a "he said, she said" thing when it was an I HAVE AN INJURY INSIDE ME thing.
I remember where and when and how I was violated. I kept drinking to make it go away. at that point, he had not respected any of my "no's" so I figured I might as well pretend this is all well and normal to do.
but that part hurt too. I had disliked him from the beginning and I felt like I was just too big of a coward to scream at him or punch him in the face. his Ouroborous (sp?) tattoo scared me and I wasn't flirting by being mean to him. I literally did not like the way he talked to me.
they let him off the hook and years later – according to the rumor mill – he's got multiple assault charges against him. I'm guessing that they dredged up my case in process of looking at his history.
yes, I have always wanted to reiterate that what happened was not ok. I was asked what I really wanted out of my "allegations" and I said that I did not want this to happen to anyone else. but eventually I had a knee in my back (snap crackle pop) and got Put In My Place. like wow.
I haven't said shit about it again. it all makes me think that all it takes is one dirty cop to set up a rape and murder or something for talking too much, though I know that most of them are good people. we all have to be vigilant that justice is rooted fairness.
yeah, the whole night should have never happened and that's my fault, but the specific thing he did was low key very violent and not even acceptable in any situation outside of violent porn. I did push his hand away more than once and I remember the fucking blank look in his eyes as I realized that he wasn't gonna stop no matter what.
you can read between the lines about why the rest of it happened, but I know how I felt during all of it. and how devastating it was to be blamed by the police department because it all really did look like I wanted it, didn't it? plus, I wasn't gushing blood or anything, not that they'd know cause they skipped the part where they checked for signs of injury.
anyways, there was a show about a similar thing on Netflix and I watched it, but quickly realized again (cause I'd always felt that I should sue) that the environment for all of this was not good. if I do something like sue a police department it's going to be a huge thing for the city. and if the cop who just sentenced me to back and neck pain for the rest of my life is found to be a Not Good Cop then I really do have a case and a reason to be absolutely scared for my life of cops. I'm not tho and I have a lot of respect for them, but retaliation over an assault case (and possibly more) is not a good look.
disgrace me? they've been.
I just don't want to feel like I'm being stalked by Super Predators anymore. some of y'all are scary ass people with even worse rap sheets but have good hearts and that is confusing! I've learned much about the way they operate and the way they like to use their narratives to make your life hell, or they just pay the people around you to fuck with you.
anyways, they're still trying to drop cases on me because I haven't exactly been a picture perfect person or victim. been much more focused on trying to heal my body by getting stronger, tho, bc these things are all very stressful and it's important to have a strong mind, body, and spirit in order to deal with them.
you can't lose something you've already given to God.
I put my life in His hands.
🧡
there's always a snake in the grass telling really, uh, evil lies in order to influence the way others perceive you. no bigger snakes than when there's a lot to feed on.
I've seen that lie unfold in front of my eyes and I know that so many people in lots of different industries all participate in these kinds of lies to cover their own shame. it's sad.
the last move left is to set up the perfect trap again. the last one didn't pan out the way they expected – I'm doing something good with the pain. I buried it all for a while so that I could see with my own eyes what was happening in the world. why are so many of these "conspiracy" theories turning out to be true?
I did my best to not make it about me.
and my God the stories that have come out now. we all know what direction this is going and we have the duty and obligation to ensure that we solve problems responsibly and non-violently. but this is crazy. all of it.
if your opp's last move is to paint you as a terrorist in the making when there are literally hundreds of stories related to The Racket AND The Bracket, how sad. and what a cruel thing to let someone know, as a matter of fact, that their only road leads to a grave where miscarriages of justice occur.
nobody knows more about what they want for me than me but I will not accept that fate – that is not what God created me for.
maybe I did not say it with these exact words but I did basically say fuck diddy and whatever racket he's got going on. fuck the whole industry for all of the pimping it does. I will make them hate me while still aiming straight for the truth of the matter.
this is like dealing with attention addicts who don't realize their addiction to humiliation is just a side kink. I'd turn the other cheek but it hurts a little to twist my neck since it was twisted for me years ago on a sidewalk by a man much bigger than me.
but that's besides the original point: a week or so before it all came crashing down, I mentioned on social media that I intended to sue a whole police department because they didn't follow a certain procedure that is necessary after an assault. the DA at the time saw footage of the "encounter" and they did not pursue charges, and they never really considered what my report centered on: a very specific moment that happened and resulted in an injury due to the unexpected nature of it.
I didn't want him to do that nor did I give any sign that I wanted to. then for the rest of the night he would reach behind my back and sneak little grabs here and there that I also didn't want. as much as I tried to get him to just stop touching me in general, I was too drunk at that point to even walk and had a massive bruise from stumbling into an iron chair. my friends asked me if I was ok and I just played it all off cause it had literally happened minutes earlier and I was stunned.
when I woke up the next morning I felt like I'd been sliced inside. that's why I wanted to get a rape kit; plus, I had bruises in random places. I was not ok and my "friends" knew this, but they'd summed it as my fault.
thing is, I wasn't even talking about the last part, I was talking about what he did when nobody else was around and how quickly and suddenly. I was talking about feeling his nails pierce through the most sensitive part of my body.
the police initially told me that someone would come pick me up but days passed by and nobody ever came. I got a phone call eventually where I was told that it's a "he said, she said" thing when it was an I HAVE AN INJURY INSIDE ME thing.
I remember where and when and how I was violated. I kept drinking to make it go away. at that point, he had not respected any of my "no's" so I figured I might as well pretend this is all well and normal to do.
but that part hurt too. I had disliked him from the beginning and I felt like I was just too big of a coward to scream at him or punch him in the face. his Ouroborous (sp?) tattoo scared me and I wasn't flirting by being mean to him. I literally did not like the way he talked to me.
they let him off the hook and years later – according to the rumor mill – he's got multiple assault charges against him. I'm guessing that they dredged up my case in process of looking at his history.
yes, I have always wanted to reiterate that what happened was not ok. I was asked what I really wanted out of my "allegations" and I said that I did not want this to happen to anyone else. but eventually I had a knee in my back (snap crackle pop) and got Put In My Place. like wow.
I haven't said shit about it again. it all makes me think that all it takes is one dirty cop to set up a rape and murder or something for talking too much, though I know that most of them are good people. we all have to be vigilant that justice is rooted fairness.
yeah, the whole night should have never happened and that's my fault, but the specific thing he did was low key very violent and not even acceptable in any situation outside of violent porn. I did push his hand away more than once and I remember the fucking blank look in his eyes as I realized that he wasn't gonna stop no matter what.
you can read between the lines about why the rest of it happened, but I know how I felt during all of it. and how devastating it was to be blamed by the police department because it all really did look like I wanted it, didn't it? plus, I wasn't gushing blood or anything, not that they'd know cause they skipped the part where they checked for signs of injury.
anyways, there was a show about a similar thing on Netflix and I watched it, but quickly realized again (cause I'd always felt that I should sue) that the environment for all of this was not good. if I do something like sue a police department it's going to be a huge thing for the city. and if the cop who just sentenced me to back and neck pain for the rest of my life is found to be a Not Good Cop then I really do have a case and a reason to be absolutely scared for my life of cops. I'm not tho and I have a lot of respect for them, but retaliation over an assault case (and possibly more) is not a good look.
disgrace me? they've been.
I just don't want to feel like I'm being stalked by Super Predators anymore. some of y'all are scary ass people with even worse rap sheets but have good hearts and that is confusing! I've learned much about the way they operate and the way they like to use their narratives to make your life hell, or they just pay the people around you to fuck with you.
anyways, they're still trying to drop cases on me because I haven't exactly been a picture perfect person or victim. been much more focused on trying to heal my body by getting stronger, tho, bc these things are all very stressful and it's important to have a strong mind, body, and spirit in order to deal with them.
you can't lose something you've already given to God.
I put my life in His hands.
🧡