npub1zh…ggdq0 on Nostr: well, on a different note, I probably will die soon cause the nerve damage from ...
well, on a different note, I probably will die soon cause the nerve damage from getting my neck crunched by a police officer is getting pretty bad. I already had some strange health problems and that made things like 10x worse. I don't think I can handle my spine cracking much longer or the constant shooting pains throughout my body from it. the weed helped enormously but I can't really work anymore and writing isn't helping me make money. doubt there's really a cure tbh.
I'm sure that'll make the ops happy to hear but at least I know I'm not going to hell after I leave this mortal coil. it's been a ride. I'm glad I got to at least release one song and leave something nice behind for the world. swimming in the ocean was my favorite part of open season. I don't think I've ever felt closer to God aside from when I play music and sing.
I think it's just best not to be sad about not getting to get married or be a mom. it's kinda nice to know that someone was trying to upload my consciousness to the AI or save me with a brain implant, but I'd rather not prolong the suffering. my brain is doing weird things with my sense of temperature and I always feel like I have a fever even though I'm not sick. I'm raw dogging it cause I hate doctors and hospitals.
anyways, it is what it is and I'm not gonna go out a miserable piece of shit no matter what. would rather have a short life knowing I did something useful than to be a terminal hater who lives until I'm 90.
"life is a dream and heaven's reality" as they used to say in church. I still believe that and I suppose that I will keep hallucinating about it until that time comes.
I'm sure that'll make the ops happy to hear but at least I know I'm not going to hell after I leave this mortal coil. it's been a ride. I'm glad I got to at least release one song and leave something nice behind for the world. swimming in the ocean was my favorite part of open season. I don't think I've ever felt closer to God aside from when I play music and sing.
I think it's just best not to be sad about not getting to get married or be a mom. it's kinda nice to know that someone was trying to upload my consciousness to the AI or save me with a brain implant, but I'd rather not prolong the suffering. my brain is doing weird things with my sense of temperature and I always feel like I have a fever even though I'm not sick. I'm raw dogging it cause I hate doctors and hospitals.
anyways, it is what it is and I'm not gonna go out a miserable piece of shit no matter what. would rather have a short life knowing I did something useful than to be a terminal hater who lives until I'm 90.
"life is a dream and heaven's reality" as they used to say in church. I still believe that and I suppose that I will keep hallucinating about it until that time comes.