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RobBrinded
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2024-08-28 16:25:23

RobBrinded on Nostr: So easily triggered 😤 Do you get easily affected by other? Do you get disturbed & ...

So easily triggered 😤

Do you get easily affected by other? Do you get disturbed & hurt too easily even by strangers.

This one aspect of my own behaviour has been something Ive been working on for a looooong time.

If I had an altercation with someone. I would chew it over for hours & even days. It would wake me up at night. AS my mum has always said “ Youre so sensitive Rob”

Well Ive done something about it. I would not say Im completely cured as sometimes some people are assholes & it bugs me, but if I do get triggered, I can find my way back quickly to a place of peace.

Im not talking about breathing exercises or some type of mask to quiten the mind. Im talking about a total understanding of what my mind is doing, which brings about order & complete calmness in the face of an external problem/person. 



For instance today in bjj. There were only 3 people in the class so the teacher had eyes on us, there was no hiding.

My turn came to do an arm bar drill on one opponent for 4 minutes then move onto the other guy. The instructions were being shouted in Portuguese which Im a beginner in & the technique is fairly complex.


My mind went blank & the teacher started shouting NO! NO! Blah blah blah in Brazilian Portuguese. 

The shouting mounted in volume & he was pressurising me. I felt myself wilting. 

You might be thinking, good hes making you better or wow what an asshole… but lets look at it deeper. 



As I was doing the move & experiencing the shouting & the teachers frustration I saw through my ability to watch my own behaviour, the young Rob feeling scared & hurt. Normally I would have collapsed & even got either sad or aggressive. 

However I observed the child response, understood what was happening & continued to try the manoeuvre. 



I watched my feeling of pressure & wilting & I felt myself smile. I understood, I knew deep inside of me, that whatever he said or did, that I was ok & was doing the best I could. 
This is because my deeply conditioned behaviour was running & now I am able to watch the actual hamster wheel like programs as they start to spin. In seeing them there is understanding 
& therefore a freedom from them

I felt calm & relaxed. Now you might be expecting me to say that I then did the most amazing armours ever seen with a dash of levitation, alas I am simply human. However I felt a remarkable sense of freedom. 

A freedom that is for me the absolute most valuable thing I could have attained. 

Now did I say anything to the teacher? Yes I did. I said how can I be calm if you are not. However as I said it I knew two things immediately. 

His behaviour is not my business, especially as it has no effect over me. However his shouting is not the optimal environment for me to learn in. 

I CAN be calm when he is the opposite.

I walked away from that class having experienced complete freedom from another triggers. What a feeling. 






If you want this in your life then book a session. 

LFG

Rob
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