bradmillscan on Nostr: Here’s a good podcast to listen to about loyalty from my friend Jordan Harbinger. ...
Here’s a good podcast to listen to about loyalty from my friend Jordan Harbinger.
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/74-jordan-harbinger-on-secret-to-making-powerful-friends/id1191775648?i=1000412487837
He gives some solid advice on building relationships:
1) dig the well before you're thirsty
2) give without expectation, let go of the attachment of getting anything in return
3) do not keep score
Dig the well before you’re thirsty is natural to me - that’s helping people and making connections...it's in my DNA.
Give without expectation of return was something I always consciously practiced, but I struggled with it. I gave 100% but I valued loyalty. When I gave, I was attached to the idea of my goodwill earning me loyalty credits with the person.
Matt’s “stay humble” mantra applies here.
I also used to struggle more with keeping an invisible score (and I catch myself doing it even now sometimes.)
It wasn’t until I had some monetary success with bitcoin and my wife got sick that I let go of that habit of feeling hurt when someone didn't reciprocate after I'd done something really meaningful for them...I think it was perspective.
I also went through the Tao of Seneca audiobooks during my wife's illness & mooning of Bitcoin which gave me perspective that things could be a lot worse in life.
When keeping invisible score, the feeling is exactly how Jordan describes in the interview!
I didn’t want anything tangible - but I used to feel hurt/offended if I didn’t get the social credit for helping, or when I was overlooked for an investment opportunity that I earned, or not invited to an event, etc.
Anyone else struggle with number 2 and 3? How do you best work on it to truly let go of and avoid those gross feelings of expectation or instinct to scorekeep and give 100% with zero expectation, and most difficult - not be offended / hurt when someone in your warm circle cold shoulders / ignores / compartmentalizes you after helping them.
Gratitude practice? Affirmations? Meditation? Talk Therapy?
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/74-jordan-harbinger-on-secret-to-making-powerful-friends/id1191775648?i=1000412487837
He gives some solid advice on building relationships:
1) dig the well before you're thirsty
2) give without expectation, let go of the attachment of getting anything in return
3) do not keep score
Dig the well before you’re thirsty is natural to me - that’s helping people and making connections...it's in my DNA.
Give without expectation of return was something I always consciously practiced, but I struggled with it. I gave 100% but I valued loyalty. When I gave, I was attached to the idea of my goodwill earning me loyalty credits with the person.
Matt’s “stay humble” mantra applies here.
I also used to struggle more with keeping an invisible score (and I catch myself doing it even now sometimes.)
It wasn’t until I had some monetary success with bitcoin and my wife got sick that I let go of that habit of feeling hurt when someone didn't reciprocate after I'd done something really meaningful for them...I think it was perspective.
I also went through the Tao of Seneca audiobooks during my wife's illness & mooning of Bitcoin which gave me perspective that things could be a lot worse in life.
When keeping invisible score, the feeling is exactly how Jordan describes in the interview!
I didn’t want anything tangible - but I used to feel hurt/offended if I didn’t get the social credit for helping, or when I was overlooked for an investment opportunity that I earned, or not invited to an event, etc.
Anyone else struggle with number 2 and 3? How do you best work on it to truly let go of and avoid those gross feelings of expectation or instinct to scorekeep and give 100% with zero expectation, and most difficult - not be offended / hurt when someone in your warm circle cold shoulders / ignores / compartmentalizes you after helping them.
Gratitude practice? Affirmations? Meditation? Talk Therapy?