cameri on Nostr: I used to quit personal projects soon after starting them because I wanted them to be ...

I used to quit personal projects soon after starting them because I wanted them to be perfect... otherwise I wouldn't feel good about them, or feel proud about myself. I thought I needed challenges so each project would have something in it I wanted to learn.

I would try to perfect even the most insignificant detail. Refactor things over and over so there wasn't really much progress. The state was usually: stuck down yet another rabbit hole that wasn't even in scope or core to the project. Hundreds of tabs opened and no idea how to get back.

One day I had an epiphany which made me realize I was unconsciously doing this to set myself up for failure, so I could relive what that feels in the absence of real consequences. Stuck on a loop where I had something to prove with every attempt. The failures made me feel depressed and unworthy for weeks... for no fucking reason.

From that day I make sure things just work first, no matter how bad the solution is glued together or how messy the code is. Then if I still care enough I would iterate. Each iteration small enough I wouldn't lose focus yet add some value.

Finally got rid of the ghost of my past self.