Tilde Lowengrimm on Nostr: Oh no, the ADHD desire for risk-taking and massive change is combining with the ...
Oh no, the ADHD desire for risk-taking and massive change is combining with the autistic desire to deep focus on something technical. It’s tickling the back of my brain. I have an absolutely perfect setup which works smoothly and follows all my foibles. Requires no maintenance, but still lets me fidget and configure to my heart’s content. Everything is good. And yet.
I have an itch to just toss all that out. Get a npub1t9n9a8493v0dhp2dn3x4hg69skpkn40ftylsa9yrp9ct9t7f8jpsq7k9e7 (npub1t9n…k9e7) laptop and a folding Pixel phone. Swap my Eeros out for self-managed Ubiquiti network. Get a huge trailer or RV, rip everything out and build up from scratch. Construct my own solar/battery system and do my own electrical work. Move to the country and grow a herb garden. Collect & filter rainwater. Keep goats.
Is this just an anxious fear response to interdependency & connectedness in a world which feels like it might fall apart? Is this rejection of my deeply held value of community because “self-reliance” feels safer even though it’s an unsustainable end of the line? Is this just the ADHD giving me the worst possible advice because it craves cortisol and norepinephrine no matter the cost?
I have an itch to just toss all that out. Get a npub1t9n9a8493v0dhp2dn3x4hg69skpkn40ftylsa9yrp9ct9t7f8jpsq7k9e7 (npub1t9n…k9e7) laptop and a folding Pixel phone. Swap my Eeros out for self-managed Ubiquiti network. Get a huge trailer or RV, rip everything out and build up from scratch. Construct my own solar/battery system and do my own electrical work. Move to the country and grow a herb garden. Collect & filter rainwater. Keep goats.
Is this just an anxious fear response to interdependency & connectedness in a world which feels like it might fall apart? Is this rejection of my deeply held value of community because “self-reliance” feels safer even though it’s an unsustainable end of the line? Is this just the ADHD giving me the worst possible advice because it craves cortisol and norepinephrine no matter the cost?