ARoseByMyName on Nostr: I'm losing my cat. We had to make the miserable, torturous decision to get her help ...

I'm losing my cat. We had to make the miserable, torturous decision to get her help to the next world. And I basically am in a ball just wailing with tears because I am so guilty and so sad. I don't want to lose her. I don't want to schedule her death. I don't want her to suffer more than she has. This feeling is horrendous.

There's no right thing to do. Everything feels wrong. I feel like I'm betraying her by letting her languish. I feel like I'm betraying her by bringing a vet in tomorrow to kill her with needles. She trusts me. She loves being pet. She doesn't know tomorrow I'm letting someone in here to end her life.

That's the part I can't seem to get anyone to understand. Because she trusts me I'm broken. She doesn't expect me to let someone kill her.

But what if she wants it? I am broken to pieces.

I've had to do this twice before and it never gets easier.

I'm guilty.