Ari does not comply on Nostr: Just a reminder that lifting people up by seeing the good that is in them and the ...
Just a reminder that lifting people up by seeing the good that is in them and the good they are doing in the world is totally different from toxic positivity.
There is a principle in Buddhism that we all have Buddhanature, and it's just what we do with our nature in the world that either becomes the problem or the solution.
In my lineage, we believe that people are basically good. We believe that we're all given basically the same set of seeds when we're incarnated on the planet, and it's what seeds we choose to water as we move through life make up much of who we end up being and what we experience in our short lifetimes.
(That's an abbreviated version, but I think it also encompasses the Vulcan principle of infinite diversity in infinite combinations. Hah!)
Non-toxic positivity is listening to others, digesting what they're saying, understanding your own reactions to what they're saying, and then still being able to say, in all sincerity, something that actually supports and lifts up that person.
Sometimes silence is the best option.
When it comes to something like death, most of us suck at talking about death. So, we resort to platitudes and toxic positivity.
I just came home from a funeral service that was 100% grounded and real. No preacher preaching hellfire. Nobody talking about how my friend was in a better place. Just human beings sharing their grief and their stories together in one place for a few moments of time.
That is community. That we only gather like this when someone dies is a travesty.
In reality, I would say that 99.9% of grieving people just need someone to hear them and say, yeah, this sucks, I am here, and I love you.
Maybe the next step is asking if they want a hug. But the most important step, often, can be shutting the hell up and being there for them.
Every time I cheerleader somebody on this site, I mean every fucking word! Not all positivity is toxic.
However, having typed such positivity at someone at some point, I also know I cannot control their reaction to what I've said.
So, think twice, type once, and hope for the best!
There is a principle in Buddhism that we all have Buddhanature, and it's just what we do with our nature in the world that either becomes the problem or the solution.
In my lineage, we believe that people are basically good. We believe that we're all given basically the same set of seeds when we're incarnated on the planet, and it's what seeds we choose to water as we move through life make up much of who we end up being and what we experience in our short lifetimes.
(That's an abbreviated version, but I think it also encompasses the Vulcan principle of infinite diversity in infinite combinations. Hah!)
Non-toxic positivity is listening to others, digesting what they're saying, understanding your own reactions to what they're saying, and then still being able to say, in all sincerity, something that actually supports and lifts up that person.
Sometimes silence is the best option.
When it comes to something like death, most of us suck at talking about death. So, we resort to platitudes and toxic positivity.
I just came home from a funeral service that was 100% grounded and real. No preacher preaching hellfire. Nobody talking about how my friend was in a better place. Just human beings sharing their grief and their stories together in one place for a few moments of time.
That is community. That we only gather like this when someone dies is a travesty.
In reality, I would say that 99.9% of grieving people just need someone to hear them and say, yeah, this sucks, I am here, and I love you.
Maybe the next step is asking if they want a hug. But the most important step, often, can be shutting the hell up and being there for them.
Every time I cheerleader somebody on this site, I mean every fucking word! Not all positivity is toxic.
However, having typed such positivity at someone at some point, I also know I cannot control their reaction to what I've said.
So, think twice, type once, and hope for the best!